Tag Archive | United States

Children

Happy children

 

 

I am enjoying my visit with my children! They bring me so much joy! 

I for one can NOT imagine hurting any of my children! To me, it has to take a very sick mind to hurt a child. There is a lot of  talk about grown ups being abused, but let us not forget about the little ones.

I woke up this morning and fixed my cup of coffee and watched some news and once again there was stories of children being abused and babies being abandoned. I couldn’t help but think of my children and how much I love them and how much of a sick mind it takes to hurt a precious child. When they woke up, they got an extra hug.

Here are some shocking statistics about child abuse:

Shocking Statistics About Child Abuse

  • 48% of abused children are boys
  • 52% of abused children are girls
  • 45% of abused children are white race
  • 22% of abused children are African American race
  • 22% of abused children are Hispanic race

Dramatic Increase In Child Abuse Statistics

Let us be their voice and help stop the violence against children!

 

Kansas

kansas

 

 

 

  • Kansas Coalition Against Sexual and Domestic Violence 820 SE Quincy, #416B Topeka KS 66612 (913)232-9784
  • Domestic Violence Emergency Services P.O. Box 262 Atchison KS 66002 Business #: 913-367-0365 Hotline/Crisis: 913-367-0363
  • Crisis Center of Dodge City, Inc. P.O. Box 1173 Dodge City KS 67801 Business #: 316-225-6987 Hotline/Crisis: 316-225-6510
  • The Family Life Center – SAFEHOUSE P.O. Box 735 El Dorado KS 67042 Business #: 316-321-7104 Hotline/Crisis: 316-321-7104 Toll Free #: (800)870-6967
  • S.O.S., Inc. P.O. Box 1191 Emporia KS 66801 Business #: 316-342-1870 Hotline/Crisis: 316-342-1870 Toll Free #: (800)825-1295
  • Family Crisis Service’s P.O. Box 1092 Garden City KS 67846 Business #: 316-275-2018 Hotline/Crisis: 316-275-5911
  • Family Crisis Center P.O. Box 1543 Great Bend KS 67530 Business #: 316-792-3672 Hotline/Crisis: 316-792-1885
  • Northwest Kansas Family Shelter, Inc. P.O. Box 284 Hays KS 67601 Business #: 913-625-4202 Hotline/Crisis: 913-625-3055
  • Kickapoo Emergency Shelter P.O. Box 271 Horton KS 66439 Business #: 913-486-3591 Hotline/Crisis: 91-486-3591
  • Sexual Assault/Domestic Violence Center 1 East 9th Hutchinson KS 67501 Business #: 316-665-3630 Hotline/Crisis: 316-663-2522
  • Hope Unlimited P.O. Box 12 Ida KS 66740 Business #: 316-365-7566 Hotline/Crisis: 316-365-3144
  • Rebecca Vinson Center P.O. Box 1514 Kansas City KS 66117 Business #: 913-321-1566 Hotline/Crisis: 913-321-0951
  • Douglas County Rape Victims Support Service 1419 Massachusetts St. Lawrence KS 66044 Business #: 913-843-8985 Hotline/Crisis: 913-841-2345
  • Women’s Transitional Care Service P.O. Box 633 Lawrence KS 66044 Business #: 913-841-6887 Hotline/Crisis: 913-841-6887
  • Alliance Against Family Violence P.O. Box 465 Leavenworth KS 66048 Business #: 913-682-1752 Hotline/Crisis: 913-682-9131
  • Liberal Area Rape & Domestic Violence Services P.O. Box 1707 Liberal KS 78901 Hotline/Crisis: 316-624-8818
  • The Crisis Center, Inc. P.O. Box 1526 Manhattan KS 66502 Business #: 913-539-2785 Hotline/Crisis: 913-539-2785 Toll Free #: (913)762-2333
  • Mcpherson County Council on Violence Against Persons P.O. Box 406 McPherson KS 67460 Business #: 316-241-3510 Hotline/Crisis: 316-241-6615
  • Multi-County Domestic Violence Program, Inc. Rt. 1 Box 199 Morrill KS 66515 Business #: 913-459-2859
  • Domestic Violence/Sexual Assault Assoc. Box 942 Newton KS 67114 Business #: 316-284-6920 Toll Free #: (800)487-0510
  • SAFEHOME,Inc. P.O. Box 4469 Overland Park KS 66204 Business #: 913-432-9300 Hotline/Crisis: 913-262-2869
  • SAFEHOUSE, Inc. 101 E. Fourth, Suite 214 Pittsburg KS 66762 Business #: 316-231-8251 Hotline/Crisis: 316-231-8692 Toll Free #: (800)333-2292
  • Domestic Violence Assoc. of Central Kansas P.O. Box 1854 Salina KS 67402 Business #: 785-827-5862 Hotline/Crisis: 785-827-5862 Toll Free #: (800) 874-1499
  • Scott County Police Dept. 301 Court Scott City KS 67871 Hotline/Crisis: 316-872-2133
  • Battered Women Task Force P.O. Box 1883 Topeka KS 66601 Business #: 913-354-7927 Hotline/Crisis: 913-233-1730
  • Wichita Area Sexual Assault Center 215 N. St. Francis, Suite 1 Wichita KS 67202 Business #: 316-263-0185 Hotline/Crisis: 316-263-3002
  • YWCA Women’s Crisis Center/Safehouse P.O. Box 1740 Wichita KS 67201 Business #: 316-263-2313 Hotline/Crisis: 316-267-SAFE
  • Cowley County Safe Homes, Inc. P.O. Box 181 Winfield KS 67156 Business #: 316-221-7300 Hotline/Crisis: 316-221-4357 Toll Free #: 316-333-1816

Iowa

iowa

 

  • Iowa Coalition Against Domestic Violence Lucas Bldg. First Floor Des Moines IA 50319 (515)281-7284
  • Domestic Abuse Services of Dallas County, Inc. P.O. Box 192 Adel IA 50003 Business #: 515-993-4095 Hotline/Crisis: (800)400-4884 Toll Free #: (800)400-4884 MLS Varies BYF R
  • Assault Care Center Extending Shelter and Support P.O. Box 1965 Ames IA 50010 Business #: 515-232-5418 Hotline/Crisis: 515-232-2303 Toll Free #: (800)203-3488 MLS Varies BYF N
  • Family Crisis Support Network P.O. Box 11 Atlantic IA 50022 Business #: 712-243-6615 Hotline/Crisis: 712-243-5123 Toll Free #: (800)696-5123 MLS Varies BYF Y
  • YWCA Shelter & Sexual Assault Center 2410 Mt. Pleasant Burlington IA 52601 Business #: 319-752-0606 Hotline/Crisis: 319-752-4475 MLS 21 days BYF R
  • Domestic Abuse Prevention Center, Inc. P.O. Box 451 Carroll IA 51401 Business #: 712-792-6722 Toll Free #: (800)383-9744 MLS 7 days BYF R
  • YWCA Domestic Violence Program & Shelter 318 5th Street, S. E. Cedar Rapids IA 52401 Business #: 319-364-1458 Hotline/Crisis: 319-363-2093 MLS 3 months BYF R
  • Council Against Domestic Abuse P.O. Box 963 Cherokee IA 51012 Business #: 712-225-5003 Hotline/Crisis: (800)225-5003 Toll Free #: (800)225-7233 MLS 30 days BYF R
  • Waubonsic Mental Health Center Box 457 Clarinda IA 51632 Business #: 712-542-2388 Hotline/Crisis: 712-542-2388 Toll Free #: (800)432-1143 BYF Y
  • Gateway YWCA: Women’s Resource Center 317 7th Avenue South Clinton IA 52732 Business #: 319-242-2118 Hotline/Crisis: 319-243-7867 MLS 30 days BYF N
  • Catholic Social Service/Domestic Violence Program 315 West Pierce St. Council Bluffs IA 51503 Business #: 712-328-3086 Hotline/Crisis: 712-328-0266 MLS 3 weeks BYF Y
  • S.W. Iowa Family Violence Center P.O. Box 451 Creston IA 50801 Business #: 515-782-6632 Hotline/Crisis: (800)842-0333
  • Domestic Violence Advocacy Program 115 West 6th Street Davenport IA 52803 Business #: 319-323-1852 Hotline/Crisis: 319-326-9191 Toll Free #: (309)797-1777 MLS 30 days BYF R
  • Services for Abused Women and Their Children P.O. Box 372 Decorah IA 52101 Business #: 319-382-2989 Toll Free #: (800)383-2988 MLS 3 days BYF Y
  • Family Violence Center 1111 University Avenue Des Moines IA 50314 Business #: 515-243-6147 Hotline/Crisis: 515-243-6147 MLS Varies BYF R
  • YWCA Battered Women Program 35 North Booth Street Dubuque IA 52001 Business #: 319-556-3371 Hotline/Crisis: 319-588-4016 MLS 30 days BYF R
  • Mid-Iowa Stepping Stones Box 122 Eldora IA 50627 Business #: 515-858-2618 Hotline/Crisis: 515-858-2618 MLS 7 days BYF Y
  • Domestic/Sexual Assault Outreach Center P.O. 173 Fort Dodge IA 50501 Business #: 515-955-2273 Hotline/Crisis: 515-573-8000 MLS 30 days BYF R
  • Domestic Violence Intervention Program P.O. Box 3170 Iowa City IA 52244 Business #: 319-354-7840 Hotline/Crisis: 319-351-1043 Toll Free #: (800)373-1043 MLS 4 months BYF R
  • Greene County Domestic Abuse Council P.O. Box 422 Jefferson IA 50129 Business #: 515-386-4056 Hotline/Crisis: 386-4056 BYF R
  • Tri-State Coalition Against Family Violence P.O. Box 494 Keokuk IA 52632 Business #: 319-524-4445 Hotline/Crisis: 515-524-4445 MLS 21 days BYF Y
  • Stepping Stones Domestic Abuse Program P.O. Box 76 Malvern IA 51551 Toll Free #: (800)468-7333 MLS 30 days BYF Y
  • Domestic Violence Alternatives/Sexual Assault Ctr. P.O. Box 1507 Marshalltown IA 50158 Business #: 515-752-3245 Hotline/Crisis: 515-753-3513 Toll Free #: (800)779-3512 MLS Varies BYF N
  • Crisis Intervention Service P.O. Box 656 Mason City IA 50402 Business #: 515-424-9071 Hotline/Crisis: 515-424-9133 MLS 45 days BYF R
  • Domestic Abuse/Sexual Assault Advocacy Programs 119 Sycamore St., Suite 200 Muscatine IA 52761 Business #: 319-263-8080 Hotline/Crisis: 319-263-8080 MLS 1 month
  • Crisis Center and Womens Shelter P.O. Box 446 Ottumwa IA 52501 Business #: 515-683-3122 Hotline/Crisis: 515-683-3122 Toll Free #: (800)464-8340 MLS 30 days BYF R
  • Turning Point P.O. Box 302 Pella IA 50219 Business #: 515-628-4901 Toll Free #: (800)433-7233 BYF R
  • Domestic Violence Aid Center, Inc. 32 Third Street N. E. Sioux Center IA 51250 Business #; 712-722-4404 Hotline/Crisis: 712-737-3307 Toll Free #: (800)382-5603 MLS 3 days BYF Y
  • Council on Sexual Assault & Domestic Violence P.O. Box 1565 Sioux City IA 51102 Business #: 712-277-0131 Hotline/Crisis: 712-258-7233 Toll Free #: (800)982-7233 MLS 30 days
  • Council for the Prevention of Domestic Violence P.O. Box 462 Spirit Lake IA 51360 Business #: 712-336-0701 Hotline/Crisis: 712-336-0701 MLS 30 days BYF R
  • Crisis Services 3830 W. 9th St. Waterloo IA 50702 Business #: 319-233-8484 Hotline/Crisis: 319-233-8484 MLS 30+ days BYF R
  • Cedar Valley Friends of the Family P.O. Box 148 Waverly IA 50677 Business #: 319-352-1108 Hotline/Crisis: 319-352-0037 Toll Free #: (800)410-SAFE MLS 3 days

Understanding Domestic Violence and Abuse

If I may I would like to make a note here that these posts are very hard for me to do because they remind me of my abusive days which were not that long ago….so please understand that if I go awhile without posting after posting something like this it is because my nerves are frazzled and I need time to get myself together. Thank you for understanding.

Understanding domestic violence and abuse

Women don’t have to live in fear:

In the US: call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE).
UK: call Women’s Aid at 0808 2000 247.
Canada: call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-363-9010.
Australia: call 1800RESPECT at 1800 737 732.
Worldwide: visit International Directory of Domestic Violence Agencies for a global list of helplines and crisis centers.

Male victims of abuse can call:

Domestic abuse, also known as spousal abuse,occurs when one person in an intimate relationship or marriage tries to dominate and control the other person. Domestic abuse that includes physical violence is called domestic violence.

Domestic violence and abuse are used for one purpose and one purpose only: to gain and maintain total control over you. An abuser doesn’t “play fair.” Abusers use fear, guilt, shame, and intimidation to wear you down and keep you under his or her thumb. Your abuser may also threaten you, hurt you, or hurt those around you.

Domestic violence and abuse does not discriminate. It happens among heterosexual couples and in same-sex partnerships. It occurs within all age ranges, ethnic backgrounds, and economic levels. And while women are more commonly victimized, men are also abused—especially verbally and emotionally, although sometimes even physically as well. The bottom line is that abusive behavior is never acceptable, whether it’s coming from a man, a woman, a teenager, or an older adult. You deserve to feel valued, respected, and safe.

Recognizing abuse is the first step to getting help

Domestic abuse often escalates from threats and verbal abuse to violence. And while physical injury may be the most obvious danger, the emotional and psychological consequences of domestic abuse are also severe. Emotionally abusive relationships can destroy your self-worth, lead to anxiety and depression, and make you feel helpless and alone. No one should have to endure this kind of pain—and your first step to breaking free is recognizing that your situation is abusive. Once you acknowledge the reality of the abusive situation, then you can get the help you need.

Signs of an abusive relationship

There are many signs of an abusive relationship. The most telling sign is fear of your partner. If you feel like you have to walk on eggshells around your partner—constantly watching what you say and do in order to avoid a blow-up—chances are your relationship is unhealthy and abusive. Other signs that you may be in an abusive relationship include a partner who belittles you or tries to control you, and feelings of self-loathing, helplessness, and desperation.

To determine whether your relationship is abusive, answer the questions below. The more “yes” answers, the more likely it is that you’re in an abusive relationship.

SIGNS THAT YOU’RE IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP
Your Inner Thoughts and Feelings Your Partner’s Belittling Behavior
Do you:feel afraid of your partner much of the time? Does your partner:humiliate or yell at you?
avoid certain topics out of fear of angering your partner? criticize you and put you down?
feel that you can’t do anything right for your partner? treat you so badly that you’re embarrassed for your friends or family to see?
believe that you deserve to be hurt or mistreated? ignore or put down your opinions or accomplishments?
wonder if you’re the one who is crazy? blame you for their own abusive behavior?
feel emotionally numb or helpless? see you as property or a sex object, rather than as a person?
Your Partner’s Violent Behavior or Threats Your Partner’s Controlling Behavior
Does your partner:have a bad and unpredictable temper? Does your partner:act excessively jealous and possessive?
hurt you, or threaten to hurt or kill you? control where you go or what you do?
threaten to take your children away or harm them? keep you from seeing your friends or family?
threaten to commit suicide if you leave? limit your access to money, the phone, or the car?
force you to have sex? limit your access to money, the phone, or the car?
destroy your belongings? constantly check up on you?

Physical abuse and domestic violence

When people talk about domestic violence, they are often referring to the physical abuse of a spouse or intimate partner. Physical abuse is the use of physical force against someone in a way that injures or endangers that person. Physical assault or battering is a crime, whether it occurs inside or outside of the family. The police have the power and authority to protect you from physical attack.

Sexual abuse is a form of physical abuse

Any situation in which you are forced to participate in unwanted, unsafe, or degrading sexual activity is sexual abuse. Forced sex, even by a spouse or intimate partner with whom you also have consensual sex, is an act of aggression and violence. Furthermore, people whose partners abuse them physically andsexually are at a higher risk of being seriously injured or killed.

It Is Still Abuse If . . .

  • The incidents of physical abuse seem minor when compared to those you have read about, seen on television or heard other women talk about. There isn’t a “better” or “worse” form of physical abuse; you can be severely injured as a result of being pushed, for example.
  • The incidents of physical abuse have only occurred one or two times in the relationship.Studies indicate that if your spouse/partner has injured you once, it is likely he will continue to physically assault you.
  • The physical assaults stopped when you became passive and gave up your right to express yourself as you desire, to move about freely and see others, and to make decisions. It is not a victory if you have to give up your rights as a person and a partner in exchange for not being assaulted!
  • There has not been any physical violence. Many women are emotionally and verbally assaulted. This can be as equally frightening and is often more confusing to try to understand.

Source: Breaking the Silence: a Handbook for Victims of Violence in Nebraska

Emotional abuse: It’s a bigger problem than you think

When people think of domestic abuse, they often picture battered women who have been physically assaulted. But not all abusive relationships involve violence. Just because you’re not battered and bruised doesn’t mean you’re not being abused. Many men and women suffer from emotional abuse, which is no less destructive. Unfortunately, emotional abuse is often minimized or overlooked—even by the person being abused.

Understanding emotional abuse

The aim of emotional abuse is to chip away at your feelings of self-worth and independence. If you’re the victim of emotional abuse, you may feel that there is no way out of the relationship or that without your abusive partner you have nothing.

Emotional abuse includes verbal abuse such as yelling, name-calling, blaming, and shaming. Isolation, intimidation, and controlling behavior also fall under emotional abuse. Additionally, abusers who use emotional or psychological abuse often throw in threats of physical violence or other repercussions if you don’t do what they want.

You may think that physical abuse is far worse than emotional abuse, since physical violence can send you to the hospital and leave you with scars. But, the scars of emotional abuse are very real, and they run deep. In fact, emotional abuse can be just as damaging as physical abuse—sometimes even more so.

Economic or financial abuse: A subtle form of emotional abuse

Remember, an abuser’s goal is to control you, and he or she will frequently use money to do so.Economic or financial abuse includes:

  • Rigidly controlling your finances.
  • Withholding money or credit cards.
  • Making you account for every penny you spend.
  • Withholding basic necessities (food, clothes, medications, shelter).
  • Restricting you to an allowance.
  • Preventing you from working or choosing your own career.
  • Sabotaging your job (making you miss work, calling constantly).
  • Stealing from you or taking your money.

Violent and abusive behavior is the abuser’s choice

Despite what many people believe, domestic violence and abuse is not due to the abuser’s loss of control over his or her behavior. In fact, abusive behavior and violence is a deliberate choice made by the abuser in order to control you.

Abusers use a variety of tactics to manipulate you and exert their power:

  • Dominance – Abusive individuals need to feel in charge of the relationship. They will make decisions for you and the family, tell you what to do, and expect you to obey without question. Your abuser may treat you like a servant, child, or even as his or her possession.
  • Humiliation – An abuser will do everything he or she can to make you feel bad about yourself or defective in some way. After all, if you believe you’re worthless and that no one else will want you, you’re less likely to leave. Insults, name-calling, shaming, and public put-downs are all weapons of abuse designed to erode your self-esteem and make you feel powerless.
  • Isolation – In order to increase your dependence on him or her, an abusive partner will cut you off from the outside world. He or she may keep you from seeing family or friends, or even prevent you from going to work or school. You may have to ask permission to do anything, go anywhere, or see anyone.
  • Threats – Abusers commonly use threats to keep their partners from leaving or to scare them into dropping charges. Your abuser may threaten to hurt or kill you, your children, other family members, or even pets. He or she may also threaten to commit suicide, file false charges against you, or report you to child services.
  • Intimidation – Your abuser may use a variety of intimidation tactics designed to scare you into submission. Such tactics include making threatening looks or gestures, smashing things in front of you, destroying property, hurting your pets, or putting weapons on display. The clear message is that if you don’t obey, there will be violent consequences.
  • Denial and blame – Abusers are very good at making excuses for the inexcusable. They will blame their abusive and violent behavior on a bad childhood, a bad day, and even on the victims of their abuse. Your abusive partner may minimize the abuse or deny that it occurred. He or she will commonly shift the responsibility on to you: Somehow, his or her violent and abusive behavior is your fault.

Abusers are able to control their behavior—they do it all the time

  • Abusers pick and choose whom to abuse. They don’t insult, threaten, or assault everyone in their life who gives them grief. Usually, they save their abuse for the people closest to them, the ones they claim to love.
  • Abusers carefully choose when and where to abuse. They control themselves until no one else is around to see their abusive behavior. They may act like everything is fine in public, but lash out instantly as soon as you’re alone.
  • Abusers are able to stop their abusive behavior when it benefits them. Most abusers are not out of control. In fact, they’re able to immediately stop their abusive behavior when it’s to their advantage to do so (for example, when the police show up or their boss calls).
  • Violent abusers usually direct their blows where they won’t show. Rather than acting out in a mindless rage, many physically violent abusers carefully aim their kicks and punches where the bruises and marks won’t show.

The cycle of violence in domestic abuse

Domestic abuse falls into a common pattern, or cycle of violence:

  • Cycle of violenceAbuse – Your abusive partner lashes out with aggressive, belittling, or violent behavior. The abuse is a power play designed to show you “who is boss.”
  • Guilt – After abusing you, your partner feels guilt, but not over what he’s done. He’s more worried about the possibility of being caught and facing consequences for his abusive behavior.
  • Excuses – Your abuser rationalizes what he or she has done. The person may come up with a string of excuses or blame you for the abusive behavior—anything to avoid taking responsibility.
  • “Normal” behavior — The abuser does everything he can to regain control and keep the victim in the relationship. He may act as if nothing has happened, or he may turn on the charm. This peaceful honeymoon phase may give the victim hope that the abuser has really changed this time.
  • Fantasy and planning – Your abuser begins to fantasize about abusing you again. He spends a lot of time thinking about what you’ve done wrong and how he’ll make you pay. Then he makes a plan for turning the fantasy of abuse into reality.
  • Set-up – Your abuser sets you up and puts his plan in motion, creating a situation where he can justify abusing you.

Your abuser’s apologies and loving gestures in between the episodes of abuse can make it difficult to leave. He may make you believe that you are the only person who can help him, that things will be different this time, and that he truly loves you. However, the dangers of staying are very real.

The Full Cycle of Domestic Violence: An Example

A man abuses his partner. After he hits her, he experiences self-directed guilt. He says, “I’m sorry for hurting you.” What he does not say is, “Because I might get caught.” He then rationalizes his behavior by saying that his partner is having an affair with someone. He tells her “If you weren’t such a worthless whore I wouldn’t have to hit you.” He then acts contrite, reassuring her that he will not hurt her again. He then fantasizes and reflects on past abuse and how he will hurt her again. Heplans on telling her to go to the store to get some groceries. What he withholds from her is that she has a certain amount of time to do the shopping. When she is held up in traffic and is a few minutes late, he feels completely justified in assaulting her because “you’re having an affair with the store clerk.” He has just set her up.

Source: Mid-Valley Women’s Crisis Service

Recognizing the warning signs of domestic violence and abuse

It’s impossible to know with certainty what goes on behind closed doors, but there are some telltale signs and symptoms of emotional abuse and domestic violence. If you witness any warning signs of abuse in a friend, family member, or co-worker, take them very seriously.

General warning signs of domestic abuse

People who are being abused may:

  • Seem afraid or anxious to please their partner
  • Go along with everything their partner says and does
  • Check in often with their partner to report where they are and what they’re doing
  • Receive frequent, harassing phone calls from their partner
  • Talk about their partner’s temper, jealousy, or possessiveness

Warning signs of physical violence

People who are being physically abused may:

  • Have frequent injuries, with the excuse of “accidents”
  • Frequently miss work, school, or social occasions, without explanation
  • Dress in clothing designed to hide bruises or scars (e.g. wearing long sleeves in the summer or sunglasses indoors)

Warning signs of isolation

People who are being isolated by their abuser may:

  • Be restricted from seeing family and friends
  • Rarely go out in public without their partner
  • Have limited access to money, credit cards, or the car

The psychological warning signs of abuse

People who are being abused may:

  • Have very low self-esteem, even if they used to be confident
  • Show major personality changes (e.g. an outgoing person becomes withdrawn)
  • Be depressed, anxious, or suicidal

Speak up if you suspect domestic violence or abuse

If you suspect that someone you know is being abused, speak up! If you’re hesitating—telling yourself that it’s none of your business, you might be wrong, or the person might not want to talk about it—keep in mind that expressing your concern will let the person know that you care and may even save his or her life.

Do’s and Don’ts

Do:

  • Ask if something is wrong
  • Express concern
  • Listen and validate
  • Offer help
  • Support his or her decisions

Don’t:

  • Wait for him or her to come to you
  • Judge or blame
  • Pressure him or her
  • Give advice
  • Place conditions on your support

Adapted from: NYS Office for the Prevention of Domestic Violence

Talk to the person in private and let him or her know that you’re concerned. Point out the things you’ve noticed that make you worried. Tell the person that you’re there, whenever he or she feels ready to talk. Reassure the person that you’ll keep whatever is said between the two of you, and let him or her know that you’ll help in any way you can.

Remember, abusers are very good at controlling and manipulating their victims. People who have been emotionally abused or battered are depressed, drained, scared, ashamed, and confused. They need help to get out, yet they’ve often been isolated from their family and friends. By picking up on the warning signs and offering support, you can help them escape an abusive situation and begin healing.

Next step…

Getting out of an abusive relationship. Do you want to leave an abusive situation, but stay out of fear of what your partner might do? While leaving isn’t easy, there are things you can do to protect yourself. You’re not alone, and help is available.

More Help for Domestic Violence

Help for Abused MenHelp for Abused Men – Getting out of an abusive relationship isn’t easy for men, either, but help is available. Learn how to protect yourself while you explore your options.

Help for Abused & Battered WomenHelp for Abused & Battered Women – Getting out of an abusive relationship isn’t easy, but help is available. Learn how to protect yourself while you explore your options.

Child Abuse & NeglectChild Abuse & Neglect – Learn the signs and symptoms of child abuse and help break the cycle, finding out where to get help for the children and their caregivers.

Healing Emotional & Psychological TraumaHealing Emotional & Psychological Trauma – When bad things happen, it can take time to get over the pain and feel safe again, but with help, you can learn to heal and move on.

Anger ManagementAnger Management – Does your loved one have an anger problem? If he or she is willing to learn how to express emotions in healthier ways, the following tips can help.

Indiana (Part 2)

 

Adam Wells Crisis Center 

P.O. Box 253

Decatur, IN   46733

1-260-728-9800

1-800-728-9800

Fax 260-728-2227

Caring Place (men and women)

3107 Cascade Dr.

Valparaiso, IN   6383

219-464-2128

1-800-933-0466

Additional Assistance Numbers :

Lake County Victim Advocate: 219-801-1590

Starke County Victim Advocate: 574-772-2222

Porter County Victim Advocate: 219-464-0840 ext 104

St Jude House

12490 Marshall St

Crown Point, IN   46307

24 Hour Crisis Hotline: 1-800-254-1286

Phone Number: 219-662-7066

Fax Number: 219-662-7041

YWCA Northeast Indiana

1610 Spy Run Ave

Fort Wayne, IN  46805

Crisis Line – 1-800-441-4073

Phone Number –  260-424-4908

Fax – 260-420-5202

YWCA North Central Indiana

1102 S Fellows St

South Bend, IN  46601

574-233-9491

Fax – 574-233-9616

A Better Way

P.O. Box 734

Muncie, IN  47308

765-747-9107

Fax – 765-281-2740

Alternatives Inc.

P.O. Box 1302

Anderson, IN  46015

Local Crisis – 765-643-0200

1-800-593-9999

Hancock County – 317-462-8777

Elwood Crisis – 765-552-1038

Desert Rose

P.O. Box 1754

Martinsville, IN  46151

765-342-rose (7673)

Fax – 765-342-7645

The link to the Family Crisis Shelter works but when I tried to get phone numbers or download brochures it said that there was a virus attached

Family Service Organization

618 S Main St

Kokomo, IN   46901

765-457-9313

Fax – 765-868-4122

 

 

This is as far as I can get today……I will work on it more later. I am sick with a fever and don’t feel very well. Have been sick for almost a week now. Will get caught up when I can. Please understand for the temporary break.

 

 

 

Hawaii

HONOLULU

Domestic Violence Action Center – P.O. Box 3198, Honolulu, Hawaii 96801-3198 Phone: (808) 534-0040, 531-3771 Fax: (808) 531-7228

Hawaii State Coalition Against Domestic Violence 716 Umi St., Unit 210 Honolulu, HI 96819 Phone: 808-832-9316 Fax: 808-841-6028

Salvation Army Family Treatment Services – 845 22nd Avenue Honolulu, Hawaii 96816 Phone: (808) 739-4952 Fax: (808) 734-7470

Child and Family Service Shelter 200 North Vineyard Blvd. Building B. Honolulu, HI 96817 Phone: (808)841-0822 Fax: (808) 737-5517

Other Islands:- Women Shelters Hawaii

Child and Family Service C/O Hale Ohana P.O. Box 7022, Hilo, Hawaii 96720 Phone: (808) 959-8864 (24-hr. hotline): (808) 959-6118 (office); Fax: (808) 959-9837

Domestic Abuse Shelter – West Hawaii P. O. Box 384. Holualoa, Hawaii 96725 Phone: (808) 322-SAFE (322-7233 24-hour hotline); (808) 322-2799 (office); Fax: (808) 322-9287

Hale Ola Windward Abuse Shelter PO Box 1955, Kailua, Hawaii 96734 Hotline: (808) 528-0606 Phone: (808) 528-1033 Fax: (808) 599-5755

Molokai Domestic Violence Shelter P.O. Box 839 Kaunakakai HI 96748 Hotline: (808) 567-6888 Fax: (808) 567-9076

Women Helping Women PO Box 631067, Lanai City, Hawaii 96763 Phone: (808) 565-6700

YWCA, Family Violence Shelter Kauai 3094 Elua St Lihue, HI 96766 Phones: (808) 245-8404 (Main office); Crisis Lines: (808) 245-6362 (hotline) or (808) 245-4144 (sexual assault)

Women Helping Women 1935 Main Street, Suite 202 Wailuku, HI 96793 Hotline: (808) 579-9581, (808) 242-6600 Fax: (808) 249-8147 West Maui Advocacy Centera: Phone: (808) 661-7111 Temporary Restraining Orders & Transitions Project: Phone: (808) 242-0775 For Help on Lanai: (808) 565-6700

OTHER ORGANIZATIONS THAT CAN HELP:

 

Joint Military Family Abuse Shelter P.O. Box 29217 Honolulu HI 96820 Phone: (808) 533-7125 Hotline: (808) 533-7125

Developing Options to Violence 245 Kukui #206 Honolulu HI 96817 Business #: 808-532-5100

Domestic Violence Legal Hotline P.O. Box 3198 Honolulu HI 96801 Business #: 808-531-3771 Hotline: 808-531-3771 Hotline: 1-800-690-6200

Catholic Charities 200 N. Vineyard BLDV Suite 200 Honolulu, HI Phone: (808) 536-1794 or HOTLINE (808) 521-HELP

Family Peace Center 401 Kamakee St. Fourth Floor Honolulu HI 96814 Business #: 808-596-0900

PACT/Punuhonua/Family Visitation Center PACT Parents And Children Together 1485 Linapuni St., Suite 105 Honolulu, HI Phone: 808-847-0015

PACT/Family Peace Center 1505 Dillingham Blvd., Suite 208 Honolulu, HI 96817 Phone: 808-832-0855 Fax: 808-832-0853

Child & Family Service Shelter for Abused Spouses 200 North Vineyard Blvd., Suite 20 Honolulu HI 96817 Business #: 808-847-4602 Hotline/Crisis: 808-841-0822

Parents and Children Together 938 E. Austin Lane Honolulu HI 96817 Business #: 808-847-411

Shelter for Abused Spouses & Children 200 North Vineyard Blvd., Bldg B Honolulu HI 96817 Business #: 808-521-2377 Hotline/Crisis: 808-841-0822

Victim/Witness Assistance Division Dept. of Prosecuting Attorney 1164 Bishop St., Suite 1009 Honolulu HI 96813 Business #: 808-523-4158

Child and Family Service 91-1841 Ft. Weaver Road Ewa Beach, HI 96706 Hotline: (808) 681-3500

Turning Point for Families, Inc. Po Box 612 Hilo, HI 96721-0612 Phone: (808) 969-7798

Alternatives to Violence – Women shelters Hawaii Hilo, HI Hotline: 808-969-7798

Hilo Family Visitation center YMCA 300 West Lanikaula St. Hilo, HI 96720 Phone: (808) 935-3721 Fax: (808) 969-1722

Turning Point for Families East Hawaii: 1266 Kamehameha Ave. Suite A5 Hilo, Hawaii 96720 Phone: (808) 935-7798 (Admin), Fax: (808) 935-2573

West Hawaii: P. O. 1808, Kealakekua, Hawaii 96750 Phone: (808) 323-2664 (Admin), Fax: (808) 323-2999

Child and Family Services 305 E. Wakea Ave., Kahului, Hawaii 96732 Phone: (808) 877-6888; Fax: (808) 877-6860

Ke Ala Pono (Pathway to Harmony) 970 North Kalaheo Ave., Suite C-201 Kailua, HI 96734 Phone: (808) 254-6484 The HCEC provides domestic violence and anger management programs to adolescents and adults.

Alternatives to Violence P.O. Box 839 Kaunakakai HI 96748 Business #: 808-553-3202 Hotline/Crisis: 808-553-3202

Alternatives to Violence – West Hawaii P.O. Box 182 Kealakekua HI 96750 Business #: 808-322-6090

Child and Family Services 81-6587 Mamalahoa Hwy. Kealakekua, Hawaii 96750 Phone: 808-323-2664

Child and Family Services 100 Kalae Hwy. Suite 105 Kualapu’u, Hawaii 96757 Phone: 808-567-6100

YWCA Decision Point – Alternatives To Violence (ATV) Phone: (808) 245-5959; Fax: (808) 245-5961

Women Helping Women P.O. Box 760 Paia HI 96779 Business #: 808-579-8474 Hotline/Crisis: 808-579-9581

Women Helping Women (Lahaina) West Maui Domestic Violence Advocacy Center: (808) 661-7111

Maui County Victim/Witness Services 150 S High St Wailuku, HI 96793 Phone: (808) 270-7695

Alternatives to Violence P.O. Box 909 Wailuku HI 96793 Business #: 808-242-9559

Georgia

Liberty House of Albany, Inc.
P.O. Box 2046
Albany, GA 31702-2046

Crisis Line: (229) 439-7065
Administrative Line: (229) 439-7094
Fax Number: (229) 883-2635


Project Safe, Inc.
P. O. Box 7532
Athens, GA 30604-7532

Crisis Line: (706) 543-3331 (V/TTY)
Administrative Line: (706) 549-0922
Fax Number: (706) 354-6161


Partnership Against Domestic Violence, Inc.
P.O. Box 170225
Atlanta, GA 30317

Crisis Line: (404) 873-1766
Administrative Line: (404) 870-9627
Fax Number: (404) 870-9611


Safe Homes of Augusta, Inc.
P.O. Box 3187
Augusta, GA 30914-3187

Crisis Line: (706) 736-2499
Administrative Line: (706) 736-2499
Fax Number: (706) 736-8558


North Georgia Mountain Crisis
P. O. Box 1249
Blue Ridge, GA 30513-0022

Crisis Line: (706) 632-8400
Administrative Line: (706) 632-8401
Fax Number: (706) 632-1007


Support in Abusive Family Emergencies, Inc.
P.O. Box 11
Blairsville, GA 30514-0011

Crisis Line: (706) 379-3000
Administrative Line: (706) 379-1901
Fax Number: (706) 379-1910


Glynn Community Crisis
P. O. Box 278
Brunswick, GA 31521-0278

Crisis Line: (912) 264-4357
Administrative Line: (912) 264-4363
Fax Number: (912) 264-4365


Christian League for Battered Women, Inc. (Tranquility House)
P. O. Box 1383
Cartersville, GA 30120-1383

Crisis Line: (770) 386-8779
Administrative Line: (770) 386-8093
Fax Number: (770) 386-4490


Cherokee Family Violence
P. O. Box 489
Canton, GA 30114-0489

Crisis Line: (770) 479-1703
Administrative Line: (770) 479-1804
Fax Number: (770) 720-4834


Carroll County Emergency Shelter, Inc.
P. O. Box 2192
Carrollton, GA 30112-7304

Crisis Line: (770) 834-1141
Administrative Line: (770) 834-1141
Fax Number: (770) 834-2566


Polk County Women’s Shelter, Inc.
P. O. Box 1647
Cedartown, GA 30125

Crisis Line: (770) 749-9330
Administrative Line: (770) 748-2300
Fax Number: (770) 748-9307


Fight Abuse in the Home (FAITH), Inc.
P. O. Box 1964
Clayton, GA 30525-1964

Crisis Line: (888) 782-1338
Administrative Line: (706) 782-1003
Fax Number: (706) 782-8411


Columbus Alliance for Battered Women, Inc.
P. O. Box 4182
Columbus, GA 31914

Crisis Line: (706) 324-3850
Administrative Line: (706) 324-3850
Fax Number: (706) 324-6015


Project Renewal Domestic Violence Intervention Program, Inc.
P. O. Box 1205
Conyers, GA 30012-1205

Crisis Line: (770) 860-1666
Administrative Line: (770) 860-9770
Fax Number: (770) 860-1659


Circle of Hope, Inc.
P. O. Box 833
Cornelia, GA 30531-0833

Crisis Line: (706) 776-4673
Administrative Line: (706) 776-3406
Fax Number: (706) 776-5242


Forsyth County Family Haven, Inc.
P. O. Box 1160
Cumming, GA 30028-1160

Crisis Line: (770) 887-1121
Administrative Line: (770) 889-6384
Fax Number: (770) 205-1350


NOA’s Ark, Inc.
P. O. Box 685
Dahlonega, GA 30533-0012

Crisis Line: (706) 864-1986
Administrative Line: (706) 864-1306
Fax Number: (706) 867-6404


Northwest Georgia Family Crisis Center, Inc.
P. O. Box 554
Dalton, GA 30722-0554

Crisis Line: (706) 278-5586
Administrative Line: (706) 278-6595
Fax Number: (706) 278-2026


International Women’s House, Inc.
P. O. Box 1327
Decatur, GA 30031-1327

Crisis Line: (770) 413-5557
Administrative Line: (770) 413-5557
Fax Number: (678) 476-9087


Women’s Resource Center to End Domestic Violence, Inc. (Women Moving On)
P. O. Box 171
Decatur, GA 30031-0171

Crisis Line: (404) 688-9436
Administrative Line: (404) 508-9717
Fax Number: (404) 508-4744


S.H.A.R.E. House, Inc.
P. O. Box 723
Douglasville, GA 30133-0723

Crisis Line: (770) 489-7513
Administrative Line: (770) 949-0626
Fax Number: (770) 489-9535


Women in Need of God’s Shelter, Inc.
P. O. Box 8277
Dublin, GA 31040-8277

Crisis Line: (478) 272-8000
Administrative Line: (478) 272-5880
Fax Number: (478) 275-8074


Gateway House, Inc.
P. O. Box 2962
Gainesville, GA 30503-2962

Crisis Line: (770) 536-5860
Administrative Line: (770) 539-9080
Fax Number: (770) 539-9990


Circle of Love Center, Inc.
P. O. Box 641
Greensboro, GA 30642-0642

Crisis Line: (706) 453-7135
Administrative Line: (706) 453-7135
Fax Number: (706) 453-9010


Northeast Georgia Council on Domestic Violence
P. O. Box 814
Hartwell, GA 30643

Crisis Line: (706) 376-7111
Administrative Line: (706) 377-4141
Fax Number: (706) 377-2393


Tri-County Protective Agency, Inc.
P. O. Box 1937
Hinesville, GA 31310-8937

Crisis Line: (912) 368-9200
Administrative Line: (912) 368-8668
Fax Number: (912) 368-7562


Wayne County Protective Agency, Inc.
P. O. Box 1153
Jesup, GA 31598-1153

Crisis Line: (912) 588-0382
Administrative Line: (912) 588-9999
Fax Number: (912) 588-0288


Family Crisis Center of Walker, Dade, Catoosa, Chattooga Counties
P. O. Box 252
Lafayette, GA 30728-0252

Crisis Line: (706) 375-7630
Administrative Line: (706) 375-7180
Fax Number: (706) 375-7177


Partnership Against Domestic Violence, Inc.
P.O. Box 170225
Atlanta, GA 30317

Crisis Line: (770) 963-9799
Administrative Line: (770) 339-9160
Fax Number: (770) 963-0147


Crisis Line & Safe House
277 MLK, Jr. Blvd., Suite 204
Macon, GA 31201

Crisis Line: (478) 738-9800
Administrative Line: (478) 738-9800
Fax Number: (478) 330-5535


YWCA of Northwest Georgia
48 Henderson Street
Marietta, GA 30064-3208

Crisis Line: (770) 427-3390
Administrative Line: (770) 427-2902
Fax Number: (770) 429-8429


Flint Circuit Council on Family Violence, Inc. (Haven House)
P. O. Box 1150
McDonough, GA 30253-1150

Crisis Line: (770) 954-9229
Administrative Line: (770) 954-1008
Fax Number: (770) 954-9203


Association on Battered Women of Clayton County, Inc. (Securus House)
P. O. Box 870386
Morrow, GA 30287-0386

Crisis Line: (770) 961-7233
Administrative Line: (770) 960-7153
Fax Number: (770) 961-1038


Hospitality House for Women, Inc.
P. O. Box 5163
Rome, GA 30162-5163

Crisis Line: (706) 235-4673
Administrative Line: (706) 235-4608
Fax Number: (706) 235-4084


Camden Community Crisis Center, Inc.
P. O. Box 5159
St. Marys, GA 31558-5159

Crisis Line: (912) 882-7858
Administrative Line: (912) 882-7858
Fax Number: (912) 882-8217


Savannah Area Family Emergency
P. O. Box 61119
Savannah, GA 31420

Crisis Line: (912) 629-8888
Administrative Line: (912) 629-8888
Fax Number: (912) 629-0028


Citizens Against Violence, Inc.
P. O. Box 2494
Statesboro, GA 30459-2494

Crisis Line: (912) 764-4605
Administrative Line: (912) 764-4605
Fax Number: (912) 764-4096


Halcyon Home, Inc.
P. O. Box 1838
Thomasville, GA 31799-1838

Crisis Line: (229) 226-6666
Administrative Line: (229) 226-6682
Fax Number: (229) 226-6685


Battered Women’s Shelter, Inc. (The Haven)
P. O. Box 5382
Valdosta, GA 31603-5382

Crisis Line: (229) 244-1765
Administrative Line: (229) 244-3176
Fax Number: (229) 244-2647


Warner Robins Salvation Army
P. O. Box 2408
Warner Robins, GA 31099-2408

Crisis Line: (478) 923-6294
Administrative Line: (478) 923-2348
Fax Number: (478) 923-4395


Waycross Area Shelter d/b/a Magnolia House
P. O. Box 1965
Waycross, GA 31502-1824

Crisis Line: (912) 285-5850
Administrative Line: (912) 285-5840
Fax Number: (912) 285-0801


Peace Place, Inc.
P. O. Box 948
Winder, GA 30680-0948

Crisis Line: (770) 586-0927
Administrative Line: (770) 307-3633
Fax Number: (770) 586-0957


Tifton Judicial Circuit Shelter, Inc. (Ruth’s Cottage)
107 Magnolia Drive #223
Tifton, GA 31794

Crisis Line: (229) 387-9664
Administrative Line: (229) 387-9697
Fax Number: (229) 387-8800


The Refuge Domestic Violence Shelter, Inc.
P.O. Box 853
Vidalia, GA 30475

Crisis Line: (912) 538-9935
Administrative Line: (912) 538-9936
Fax Number: (912) 538-9910


Fayette County Council on Domestic Violence
PO Box 854
Fayetteville, GA 30214

Crisis Line: 770-460-1604 (V/TTY)
Administrative Line: 770-460-1604
Fax Number: 770-460-6591


Harmony House, Inc.
P.O. Box 2925
LaGrange, GA 30241

Crisis Line: (706) 885-1525
Administrative Line: (706) 885-1526