Ok, you will have to bear with me, because I am still not comfortable sharing my story. You will see why after I tell you. But maybe by sharing my story I can help someone else.
I have been in a cycle of abuse since birth. First my birth mother abused me. I spilt milk from my sippy cup so she back-handed me and I landed near the fire-place and the fire poker burned me ( I have a scar). She left me and my younger brother in the middle of winter with no food or nothing (keep in mind I was only 2 and he was 9 mts younger than me). Thankfully, a neighbor noticed that there was no activity coming or going from the house and came to check and she called the law and an ambulance. The doctor said about 4 more hours we would have died. We were dehydrated, malnourished, had rashes and we had pneumonia. I don’t remember but somewhere between birth and 4 years of age (that is when we were adopted) we were sent to my birth mothers, mothers house and she didn’t want us anymore so she threw our suitcases outside and us in the middle of a thunderstorm. To this day I’m terrified of thunderstorms. She also put my brother and I in a bunk bed and poured gas around us and set the bed on fire. Thank goodness my uncle had come to the house around that time and he saved us.
We were adopted when I was 4…..all was good until we moved to Dhahran, Saudia Arabia. My dad was the CEO of a company called ARAMCO. We had a houseboy (they are like maids here in the United States). While my adoptive parents were at work I had come home from school (my brother had went to a friend’s house) and the houseboy raped me and used things you wouldn’t think of to put inside me. I was about 7 years old. He finished and told me not to tell anyone. I ran downstairs and locked myself in the coat closet until my parents got home. My mom paid the house boy and he left like nothing happened and of course she wanted to put her coat up so I unlocked the door. She asked why I was there and about that time dad came home. I told her that the house boy raped me (i was sitting in a pool of blood).
Moved back here to the states after 8 yrs in Arabia and other abuse but I don’t want to take up much of you time. I got married to my first husband when I was 16 yrs old and there were some instances of mental abuse. But the majority of my abuse came when I married my second husband. At first he was very nice, dedicating songs to me etc. But then the drinking started and then I saw him buying and doing drugs. I love to fish and we would go fishing only so he could drink. At first he didn’t want me to work but then I persuaded him to let me work. That is when the abuse started. I would say something and he would tell me that “I didn’t say you could talk B_ _ _ _ h!” and then smack me. I wasn’t allowed to cook. And at night and on the weekends, I would have to stay in bed. Unless we went fishing so he could drink or to his dads to do drugs. On a several occasions I got brave and stood up for myself and i would get kicked in the stomach to the point where I bled, punched and I got stabbed. One night I had finally had enough and had a friend who lived in Minnesota that he knew nothing about and when he went to work at night I got a few necessities and got in my car at 1 am and traveled 10 hrs straight and went to Minnesota. I did everything I could to make the relationship work. I sent him to Whitfield which is a rehab house 3 times and he would behave for a couple of weeks and then back to himself. It got so bad that I feared for my life….so I left. Not knowing the directions on how to get where I was going or where I was going to stay once I got there. It was then that I found out what kind of strength I had. Now after 7 yrs I have the most wonderful man who had never raised his voice or hit me or cussed at me. So there is a Brighter Tomorrow!