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Just Because We’re Gone, It Does Not Mean It’s Over

Just Because We’re Gone, It Does Not Mean It’s Over.

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Ten Lies Abusive People Tell

I heard so many of these excuses. So much so that I was believing the majority of them. But I and YOU are NOT to be blamed for any of this. There is no excuse for ANY type of abuse, be it verbal, emotional, or political. We as human beings deserve respect and love.

Apologies

I would like to apologize for being away so long. I was away for some time from the computer and forgot my password. But I’m back and will try to catch up on all the comments. It may take some time so please bear with me.

Hurt

hurt

 

 

I have had so many people tell me that I should be over my abuse by now. Well it has only been 3 yrs of getting totally away from abuse since I have been born and I am 41. Not all has been physical. I would say it has been half and half if I REALLY sit down and think about it. But here is the gist of my post…DON’T let anyone tell you how long it should heal after abuse. I had my therapist till me I should be over my abuse by now. Needless to say I am not going to a therapist anymore and am getting along better without going to her. Find a friend or a family member who will not judge you….that works a whole lot better. Or if you need to vent you can email me….I am a good listener and lord knows I don’t judge. My email address is on my home page.

INDIRECT Abusers

HEAL & GROW for ACoAs

…. BUT HE’S SO NICE TO ME –
the rest of the time!

PREVIOUS: Direct abusers

RESOURCE: Dr Irene’s great Abuse & Recovery site

REMINDER: See ACRONYM Page for abbrev.


COVERT ABUSE 
(CA) – Emotional, Mental & Spiritual
• Emotional abuse is one of the most under-reported types in the US today. Blatant emotional cruelty may be noticed & definitely felt by a Victim (V) – even if they ignore or excuse it – but daily or periodic abuse in smaller doses can too easily be overlooked, as it gets woven into the fabric of the relationship. Typically the V. will say : “It’s not all bad, You don’t know him the way I do. I know she loves me. When something goes wrong it’s really my fault. He didn’t meant it. She’s just under a lot of pressure. I don’t want to miss out on…

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Emotional Abuse

Bright, shiny objects!

Merely refraining from abusive behaviors will do nothing to improve a relationship, though it may slow its rate of deterioration. To repair the harm done, there must be a corresponding increase in compassion on the part of the abuser. Abusers do not change by receiving compassion; they change by learning to give it. Emotional abuse does not result from storms of anger; it emerges during droughts of compassion.Steven Stosny writes:

Emotionally abusive behavior is anything that intentionally hurts the feelings of another person. Since almost everyone in intimate relationships does that at some time or other, emotionally abusive behavior must be distinguished from an emotionally abusive relationship, which is more than the sum of emotionally abusive behaviors.

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