I got this off of a Facebook page called Abuse No More.
Emotional abusers are very insidious – some of them are much harder to spot than others, because they mingle their abuse in between acts of generosity, and often employ emotionally manipulative tactics, and passive-aggressive behavior. Not all emotional abusers overtly belittle and verbally harangue their partners – some are much more perfidious and as such, their partners may not realize that the source of their distress and an unease over the relationship has been coming from abuse for quite some time.
The longer a person remains under the grip of an emotional abuser, the more they will start to question themselves, your actions and your beliefs. It is the abuser’s goal to make you believe that you deserve this cruelty and that only through you actions can you make it stop. It is their intent to get you to feel that you are the cause of any relationship problems, and that their (abusive) behavior is simply a response to you, and therefore acceptable. It is true, that only through your actions can you make it stop – you must have the courage to leave the relationship and avoid further contact with the abuser.